notes

this puppy has to choose a stack for her little project to fuck with the servicenow api...

only spending like. two days together over winter break i guess?

suppose that makes up for the past like. 3-4 weeks that we’ve barely hung out.

it’s fine though cause she got the christmas present she cared about ig.

not even going to ask if she plans to spend the night because i know no matter what it’ll just cause more hurt

😭

i’m a faggot :3

meow

god i really need private posts on my website so i can post these kinds of thoughts lol

do friends ever kiss in miitopia

holy fuck servicenow is the worst thing ever created

what’s the point if anytime i feel any amount of hope it just. gets crushed?

is anything ever going to happen? is she ever going to spend the night again? come to my apartment again? is nas nas even going to happen?

yeah i might actually just cry when i get home. idk.

idk why i ever have hope of anything.

i want to cry.

what’s the point…

:deadAnya:

will my website upload the svg lol

i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate

ok solution: skip the list of people luna is following (sorry) and also stop after 10 requests to get follows

(also if anyone cares, the submitted graph thingy i have to submit has to be pseudonyms so ill probably just hash the did or something to get those)

trying to do an assignment for a class and i need to make a graph from my social media follows/followers and uh.

i hit the rate limit. lol

mmm tried looking at flights for next summer.

i am extremely annoyed by delta.com now

think i might be dyslexic cause i just read 1 cup as 2 cups

anyways i have destroyed this cake mix i think. and i don’t have enough eggs to try again.

olive oil is the same as vegetable oil right

fuck it

im making cake.

nothing better to do

hhh i don't understand why she deals with me tbh...

fuckkk i was trying to find a message from my girlfriend and of course there's some from my ex where she's like. accusing me of lying and how she must be right and just. god it hurts so much still...

huh. there's no frontrows even being sold on ebay. that's surprising.

everyday i wake up and wonder why the FUCK a networking company makes a fucking video editing app and a photo editing app.

and then i remember what they took from us. frontrow. and i am sad.

glad im getting a slightly better paying job now with more hours. maybe i'll be able to save enough this semester for us to do a trip this summer :3 (very wishful thinking but i think it could happen...)

i swear i keep seeing this person on campus that looks like my terrible ex

tbh i might cry rn just cause im thinking about like. how is my girlfriend so kind and sweet and gentle and aaaa :pleadingcat:

i love her so fucking much :pleadingcat: i have no idea what i'd do without her...

hate myself

why am i such a fucking failure

failure failure failure failure failure failure failure

hhhh if i did that she wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.

i’d be lonely forever. but she’d be happier. and she wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.

i’m such a fucking failure

can i just like. sleep forever. everyone forget about me…

seems to already happen so

terrible terrible terrible stupid stupid stupid awful terrible fucking terrible person

hate myself hate myself hate myself

just spent over 20 minutes walking in a circle

the self hate is strong today

i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate

life is difficult

been sitting here for like an hour with my hrt just sitting on my desk because i don't have enough water in my glass and so i've just been waiting for the ice in it to melt

hhh i always get my hopes up too much.

and i didn’t even think i was being that hopeful. but it still hurts.

sometimes i'll have little conversations with my girlfriend's squishmallows she gives me even though they are boring and won't respond to me smh

(most of the conversations are just me going "nea,,, :pleadingcat:" tbh)

thinking about how much i love nea now and like i might cry

she's so fucking sweet 😭

fitting that activity id 900 is that

ruining everything as usual (i’m so good at that!!)

mmm just laying in my bed rn thinking about my nea. and how fucking comfy it’d be to just. fall asleep next to her right now…

hope she can spend the night more next semester or for christmas maybe. just, would be so fucking nice aaa :pleadingcat:

god i love her so much…

the “thing associated with terrible person” to “reassociating that thing with nea” pipeline :pleadingcat:

at work rn and nea came to see me to say goodbye before she goes home, aaaaa i love her so fucking much :pleadingcat: how is she so sweet...