mm just thinking about how sweet my girlfriend is for letting me steal her jackets and squishmallows tbh :pleadingcat:

i love her so so so much…

i feel great rn tbh /gen

creating tech debt for future saige rn

it needs some problems to solve in its life (rewriting albums someday)

so fucking empty...

well that's a very unexpected moment of feeling empty.

sigh.

ik i do lots of like gay lesbian yearny posting but like

really am so glad i met nea :pleadingcat: she’s just so so so amazing, idk what i’d ever do without her :pleadingcat:

nobody knows i’m secretly a puppy

okay wow servicenow is slow

how the fuck do i do art

we're watching episode two of hide and seek across japan rn :3

yay i got my girlfriend hooked on jet lag i think :3

i wonder if i could get away with replacing the extremely boring and basic and inaccurate honeywell thermostat in my apartment with an ecobee

i hate trying to have friends. basically impossible ig

mmm i love my girlfriend so much tbh…

she’s actually just way too amazing :pleadingcat:

i’m puppy,,,

made my girlfriend watch jet lag: the game and she seems to enjoy it :3

happy new year !!

brb need to go make the 48934th misskey fork and call it uhhhhhhhhhhhhh stickerkey (i have stickers on my desk rn)

girls should be allowed to just sleepy and sleep and sleep sleep and sleep some more and lay in bed and sleep and eepy and nap and go to bed and hug jacket and sleep and hug squishmallow and sleep more and wake up and see it’s 3pm and go back to bed and sleep a bit more and sleepy sleep a lot

oops found another place on this website that still says catgirl

i hate this stupid fucking life so much

tbh does she even care about me?

mmm i love her so fucking much,,, wish i could hug her rn :pleadingcat:

also feel bad though that she has to deal with me being a mess though :(

it’s 7am and i’m still awake but i’m just laying in bed looking at pictures of my girlfriend

sometimes i miss fedi just a little bit. idk

feeling awful but at least im cute

i can’t take this fucking life

what’s the point if i’m never going to see her again. never be good enough for her.

i’m so useless.

what’s the point of anything if i can’t even give my girlfriend a hug for her birthday :(

nothing will ever be better than the picture of my girlfriend sitting on my kitchen floor looking in my fridge getting pop. and then the photo afterwards of her just sitting there drinking it.

apparently she doesn’t even follow me on github smh

sometimes i do think it’d be better if i killed myself.

like. yeah yeah bad idea or whatever.

but at least no one would have to deal with me anymore that way. idk. i wouldn’t be a burden anymore. and i don’t contribute much to society so,,,

want to throw my phone

next semester is going to fucking suck

feel so hopeless rn tbh.

i am so fucking cute tbh

new goal is to be the cutest consultant at my new job

i could have so many fucky clothing styles if i wasn’t scared and knew where to buy the perfect ideal cute clothes (actually no idea where)

like. what if skirt and leggings. but then a dress on top of that. feel like that’d be cute tbh

the desire to wear nothing but skirts and leggings and dresses for the rest of time

so scared and worried

just want my sweetheart to be ok………

what happened to lands' end being on the weather channel 😭

it's all carhartt now?? wtf

ok im calling k3s kites now :3

i love leggings so much

whoever invented leggings is a fucking genius

mmm i really need to add private posts to my website

i am so gay and in love with my girlfriend rn

just laying in bed and day dreaming about her. really hope she spends the night soon :pleadingcat:

splashcat is basically dead right now due to coral auth, but if/when that's no longer an issue im kinda considering reducing the prices for splashcat sponsors by a lot. i think i overestimated the value of them along with trying too hard to stick to easy increments of $5/$50 and no one has ever subscribed lol (through stripe anyways). at least the hosting costs for it aren't terrible, although they've been slowly getting worse >.< and i am employed now (even if i don't get paid much, but that should get better soon) so i can cover it without worrying tooo much (although i'd prefer to put more towards savings for stuff...)

not sure what i'd change them to. maybe i'd completely ditch monthly for at least the lowest tier and make it like, $20/year since it's just cosmetics. higher tiers i could definitely reduce the cost of although they do have the cost of openai stuff (not that expensive though i don't think). idk i was hoping that at least the lowest tier would get some people, and wasn't expecting s+ponsor or xponsor to get much. i just kinda made them cause i thought generating descriptions with funny api by just. giving it a big json string was cool (even though they're not super accurate despite me trying to improve the prompt a bit).

i fucking love being deadnamed 😭

my girlfriend got me a cute necklace for christmas and omg i love this so much it’s so fucking cuteeeeeeeee

this puppy has to choose a stack for her little project to fuck with the servicenow api...

only spending like. two days together over winter break i guess?

suppose that makes up for the past like. 3-4 weeks that we’ve barely hung out.

it’s fine though cause she got the christmas present she cared about ig.

not even going to ask if she plans to spend the night because i know no matter what it’ll just cause more hurt

😭

i’m a faggot :3

meow

god i really need private posts on my website so i can post these kinds of thoughts lol

do friends ever kiss in miitopia

holy fuck servicenow is the worst thing ever created

what’s the point if anytime i feel any amount of hope it just. gets crushed?

is anything ever going to happen? is she ever going to spend the night again? come to my apartment again? is nas nas even going to happen?

yeah i might actually just cry when i get home. idk.

idk why i ever have hope of anything.

i want to cry.

what’s the point…

:deadAnya:

will my website upload the svg lol

i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate i cant self isolate

ok solution: skip the list of people luna is following (sorry) and also stop after 10 requests to get follows

(also if anyone cares, the submitted graph thingy i have to submit has to be pseudonyms so ill probably just hash the did or something to get those)

trying to do an assignment for a class and i need to make a graph from my social media follows/followers and uh.

i hit the rate limit. lol

mmm tried looking at flights for next summer.

i am extremely annoyed by delta.com now

think i might be dyslexic cause i just read 1 cup as 2 cups

anyways i have destroyed this cake mix i think. and i don’t have enough eggs to try again.

olive oil is the same as vegetable oil right

fuck it

im making cake.

nothing better to do

hhh i don't understand why she deals with me tbh...

fuckkk i was trying to find a message from my girlfriend and of course there's some from my ex where she's like. accusing me of lying and how she must be right and just. god it hurts so much still...

huh. there's no frontrows even being sold on ebay. that's surprising.

everyday i wake up and wonder why the FUCK a networking company makes a fucking video editing app and a photo editing app.

and then i remember what they took from us. frontrow. and i am sad.

glad im getting a slightly better paying job now with more hours. maybe i'll be able to save enough this semester for us to do a trip this summer :3 (very wishful thinking but i think it could happen...)

i swear i keep seeing this person on campus that looks like my terrible ex

tbh i might cry rn just cause im thinking about like. how is my girlfriend so kind and sweet and gentle and aaaa :pleadingcat:

i love her so fucking much :pleadingcat: i have no idea what i'd do without her...

hate myself

why am i such a fucking failure

failure failure failure failure failure failure failure

hhhh if i did that she wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.

i’d be lonely forever. but she’d be happier. and she wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.

i’m such a fucking failure

can i just like. sleep forever. everyone forget about me…

seems to already happen so

terrible terrible terrible stupid stupid stupid awful terrible fucking terrible person

hate myself hate myself hate myself

just spent over 20 minutes walking in a circle

the self hate is strong today

i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate i can't self isolate

life is difficult

been sitting here for like an hour with my hrt just sitting on my desk because i don't have enough water in my glass and so i've just been waiting for the ice in it to melt

hhh i always get my hopes up too much.

and i didn’t even think i was being that hopeful. but it still hurts.

sometimes i'll have little conversations with my girlfriend's squishmallows she gives me even though they are boring and won't respond to me smh

(most of the conversations are just me going "nea,,, :pleadingcat:" tbh)

thinking about how much i love nea now and like i might cry

she's so fucking sweet 😭

fitting that activity id 900 is that

ruining everything as usual (i’m so good at that!!)

mmm just laying in my bed rn thinking about my nea. and how fucking comfy it’d be to just. fall asleep next to her right now…

hope she can spend the night more next semester or for christmas maybe. just, would be so fucking nice aaa :pleadingcat:

god i love her so much…

the “thing associated with terrible person” to “reassociating that thing with nea” pipeline :pleadingcat:

at work rn and nea came to see me to say goodbye before she goes home, aaaaa i love her so fucking much :pleadingcat: how is she so sweet...

why is her solution to battery being in pocket but wanting to leave phone at table, to unplug it and leave the cable dangling from her pocket, instead of just taking the battery out of her pocket…

brain thinking too much again.